Sweet & Desperate
by Natmonkey
Summary: <html><head></head>So what do you do when your commanding officer suddenly begins talking dirty to you?</html>


_If this is the first ME story of mine you've read and this sounds incredibly random, check out _Indulgence_, _Valuable_ and _Urgency_. Suddenly it will all make sense._

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><p>Joker is idly spinning around in his leather seat, when some static in his earpiece announces an incoming message. "Hey sexy." Shepard's voice is low and sultry, the deep thuds of a bass line sounding through.<p>

"Hey, uh, Commander." Even after everything they've done together, calling her anything other than Shepard or Commander seems weird. The pilot stops, bringing his chair back around. "Is everything all right?" Of course it is. Would she sound like that if it weren't?

"Hmm, better than all right," she purrs. "What are you doing?"

"Just… spinning around a little." He chuckles awkwardly, realizing how silly he must sound.

Shepard stays silent for a while; only her heavy breathing sounds in his ear. "I was hoping you would be in my bed, waiting for me."

"Oh, will you be back soon? 'Cause I-…"

A half-suppressed moan breaks his train of thought. "Maybe even stroking your cock, slowly, just because you couldn't wait for me any longer." Her words are interspersed with the same mewls and gasps she utters whenever he is fucking her. It's not the picture she's painting (that would just be plain bizarre), but the fact that she seems to find it so hot that has him hard and aching with want in no time. Suddenly his Commander's return seems centuries away.

"Guess what I'm doing right now." Figuring nobody can see him anyway, Joker lets down his zipper and frees his throbbing hard-on. As his hand strokes up and down his length, he can almost see Shepard kneeling in front of him. Exactly like the first time. The memory of her skilled tongue almost makes him come then and there.

"Mmm, really?" The woman's voice sounds genuinely pleased. "I'm so going to wear you out when I return…"

Shepard's promising words send a jolt of pleasure straight into his cock. "What's so important that is keeping you from hauling your ass right back here, Commander?" His breathing has deepened, his voice has become low and hoarse. When it's just him and his hand, it is never like this. Even if he's thinking about Shepard. Hearing her talk does things to him.

"Well, I can hardly walk away from the asari gyrating right here on my table," Shepard chuckles in amusement. "You should see the way she smiles and puts in more effort after every tip."

An image of his sexy Commander passionately kissing and groping a barely dressed asari stripper promptly pops into his mind, making his grip tighten considerably. Joker doesn't even notice how his shirt is sticking to his back. A low groan tumbles from his lips. "Come back, Shepard," he moans breathlessly. "I get so damned lonely without you." His hand is stroking his cock at almost the speed of light, his breath sometimes hitching in his throat.

"Awww..." The smile she must have on her face sounds through in her voice. "Aren't you sweet and desperate?" He can hear the distinct sound of her footsteps and fading of the typical club music. Shepard sends a lustful chuckle into his ear. "Know what I'm going to do with you?"

There are just so many things. So many filthy, naughty things that she could do to him. "I..." The thought of all those things makes his head spin, makes words hard to find. "No," he finally chokes out with great difficulty. "Tell me."

"I'm going to get on my knees for you, and suck that fine cock of yours until you explode all over my face, and-..."

"Oh, God..." Joker knows it's rude to interrupt someone while they're talking, but that... It isn't hard at all to imagine Shepard with her face covered in his cum, happily collecting it with her fingers and licking it off. His rubbing motions become even quicker, his hand gripping harder.

She moans softly. "You like the sound of that, don't you? I need you inside me so bad, I can't wait." The poor woman is panting, and meowing with every word. "I'm just going to... Yeah, there is nobody here." Vaguely he hears the rustle of fabric. "Fuck, I'm so wet. I can't stop thinking about you, Joker, and now you've got me playing with myself in some..." Long moan. "Dirty back alley..."

"Oh, _shit_, really?" In his mind's eye, the Commander is pressed against some grimy wall, her panties bunched around her knees. One hand busily rubbing between her legs, the other fondling her firm breasts. That is a sight that will keep him warm for many Shepard-less nights to come. The pressure in his gut builds up. "I can't keep this up much longer if you continue tempting me like that."

"Wait, wait, don't come just yet. Save it for me," she mewls in despair. "I have to taste you... Oh, fuck, I'm coming." Joker is tempted to join her as she moans, squeals and practically screams her climax into his ear. Orders, however, are orders. "Hm, great, now I'm even hungrier for your cock." Shepard utters a lazy chuckle. "Look, I'm almost there. Just head on up to my room, okay?" she whispers seductively.

Somehow he manages to get his rock-hard cock back into his cargos. "Aye, aye, ma'am." _Gah, why do they make these things so tight?_ Joker shakes his head at how obviously his arousal shows; pulling his shirt out of his pants to cover up won't do much good either. He slowly stumbles to the elevator, taking care not to walk too upright. Any greetings from the crew he answers with some vague gestures and mumbles.

The pilot can't wait to go into Shepard's private quarters, get naked and greet her the way she would like him to. It seems to take forever for the damned elevator to arrive. But then the doors open and a pair of slim arms close around his neck, all but yanking him inside. His favorite marine smirks up at him. "Come here, you..."


End file.
